Spoof science news: Citizen scientists explore adaptability of Dale Creatures world-wide. Chief researcher, Grompus Grilpnip, of Winchett Dale fame, has led the Arizona citizen scientist team conducting the vital viability study of Hortus Complainus in the wilds of the west. See niffsoup.wordpress.com.niffsoup.wordpress.com
1. As the highly anticipated publishing date for the last of the Matlock the Hare trilogy, The Trial of the Majickal Elders approaches, Oct 3, 2016, a state of panic among Grilpnips of the Dale has ensued. They are prized for the delicious tastiness of their most valuable root vegetable feature: the nose. How can this vital nasal feature be preserved going forward? When the world knows of the tastiness, how will Grilnips survive?
2. Previous work has failed to address this critical issue, according to Grompus Grilpnip, thus he has travelled to the research fields of wildest Arizona to secretly find a solution.
3. Grompus theorized that the arid climate of Arizona, combined with the features of the prevailing vegetation, would be key to finding a solution.
4. After exhaustive field research, Grompus and his team of local vegetable citizen scientists retreated to the lab to compile their findings.
5. After experiments were completed, Grompus was satisfied! Existing in the arid, sometimes hostile environment of desert country has toughened the nose! In addition, the spicy flavor of the nasal appendage has mellowed to a milder, in fact, rather “yechus” one, especially in comparison to local vegetables that grow in Arizona.
6. As a result of the research, Grilpnips world-wide will be able to apply this technique to preserve their noses, reputation and sanity.